There are three factors that determine what you feel, moment to moment. Tony Robbins and other psychologists calls it the “Emotional Triad”.
1) Your Physiology
Every emotion you experience is first felt in your body. If you want to feel passionate, start by speaking more rapidly, moving more rapidly, and take on the “physiology” of passion. The same goes if you want to feel more confident – stand tall, be grounded, breathe fully, speak loudly, etc…
In the same way, if you want to feel depressed, it’s a matter if slumping over, looking at the ground, breathing shallowly, frown, and speak quietly. The way you use your body biochemically changes how you feel.
2) What You Focus On
The next thing that determines how you feel is what you decide to focus on. To feel happy, focus on things in your life that will make you feel happy. Perhaps it’s asking questions like, “What am I happy about in my life right now?” or even remembering happy moments from the past, like a fun birthday.
Whatever you focus on, you feel.
In the same way, to feel depressed you have to focus on things entirely differently. You need to be deleting all the good that’s going on in any given moment, and focused on the negative. If you asked yourself, “What really sucks in my life right now?”, I’m sure you’d be able to find something and end up feeling shitty. Or if I said, “Remember a time when you felt depressed”, like that time your dog died or something – you’d feel those emotions you felt.
3) Your Language
Your words and language patterns also change how you feel. If you say things like, “I feel really tired” or “This is too hard”, you will literally feel tired or that what you’re trying to do is hard. It simply doesn’t put you in an empowering state.
All words have different emotional states associated to them. There are certain phrases you use that are disempowering, which will affect how you feel moment to moment. Being aware of your vocabulary, statements, phrases, and metaphors are crucial to controlling your state.