Don’t criticize or complain
This ideal teaches us to be kind and thoughtful when considering other peoples’ feelings. Its about showing respect to get respect – treating others the way you want to be treated. This principle encourages an open mind when talking other people.
Don’t criticize a person for having a different opinion than you because everyone’s opinion matters regardless of whether there is 100 percent agreement. If you skip right to criticizing, you will never get anything accomplished. The most common natural reaction for someone is to clam up and shy away from a conversation with you. This is especially important in the workplace when trying to settle a conflict. Conflict resolution does not happen by criticizing your fellow team members.
Don’t condemn your coworker or friend for doing something you don’t believe was right. There may be a reason why he or she decided to do things that way. And you won’t know that unless you approach your friend with an open mind and a cool head. Condemning another person’s actions without knowing the full circumstance of that action is immature and short-sighted.
Don’t complain about a decision that was made or about a problem you are having. Instead work actively to solve it. Ask yourself what’s the worst that could possibly happen, and then look for a solution. Someone once told me that ‘complacency is the enemy of progress.’ Complaining about your job or something that happened is going to prevent you from solving the problem and its going to get you a lot of annoyed looks from your cohorts. People don’t want to hear you complain about something that happened in the past, they want to hear what you did to solve it.
If we “attack” people by criticizing them or complaining about their behavior they’ll only dig in their heels and justify why they’ve done something. It’s like having two people stand face-to-face with their hands pressed against one another. As soon as one person applies a little pressure the other person automatically does so too. The result; the hands are in a state of equilibrium and remain in the same spot.
Now apply that concept to the person you’ve been complaining about, criticizing or condemning. They’ve probably applied equal and opposite pressure and have remained the same. In the end we sabotage ourselves because our own behavior only makes it harder to persuade them to bring about lasting change.
Look closely at the difference between the two options afterwards and post a comment here letting us know how it turned out. If you follow this guideline, you will feel less stressed and more willing to try this again in the future because it worked for you once before. I encourage you to try this because you’ll walk away from the situation with a good feeling, a high level of productivity and a positive working relationship with your coworker.