Sometimes people will gravitate to confident people. If you dress for the job you’d like to have at work, it sometimes makes you feel more confident as a person and as a professional. If you carry yourself well and can navigate social situations easily this can help with obtaining promotions and getting noticed in a positive light by the right people. By acting regally and confident of your powers, you make yourself seem destined to wear a crown.
How do you walk into a room, out of a meeting, or onto a stage? You probably have some parental or authority figure in your past who told you to worry about your posture, but how you carry yourself is more important and more subtle than just standing up straight when you go on a job interview. There’s a lot going on, all the time, and your unconscious mind – and everyone else’s – takes it all in.
Important information is communicated unconsciously through gesture even in normal conversations. In one study, listeners tested afterward didn’t know which information came from gesture versus speech. There are some studies that show that if a listener copies the gesture a speaker makes the listener is more likely to like the person and attend to what they said.
You can implant ideas in people’s heads through gestures. They won’t be aware that you’ve done so, but later on they’ll start to talk spontaneously about the ideas you’ve gestured about earlier.
You only think consciously about someone else’s signals when they’re really strange or alarming or the person is really important to you and you’re actively wondering what their state of mind is.
But that unconscious activity determines an extraordinary amount of the effect you have on other people, the relationships you have with them, and your influence upon them – and vice-versa.
As a first step, then, toward becoming a powerful presence, whether as a leader or a speaker, or just a person, it’s essential to get a handle on these unconscious cues.
Your relationship with yourself is the most important one you will ever foster in your life.
You are the user of your thoughts.
If you are not receiving the love and respect you deserve, I encourage you to look inwards and heal those thoughts not in alignment with the relationships you want to attract.