Seven problems with the Angry Response


1. At first it may strike fear and terror, but only in some, and as the days pass and the storm clears, other responses emerge.
2. Embarrassment and uneasiness about the shouter’s capacity for going out of control.
3. Resentment festers of what has been said. 
4. You always make unfair and exaggerated accusations. 
5. A few such tirades and people are counting the days until you are gone.
6. To show your frustration is to show that you have lost your power to shape events.
7. It is the helpless action of the child who re-sorts to a hysterical fit to get his way.

Never Let them See You Sweat
Tantrums neither intimidate nor inspire loyalty. They only create doubts and uneasiness about your power. Exposing your weakness, these stormy eruptions often herald a fall.

Your feelings are choices: You choose anger over calm; you choose fear over courage; you choose misery over joy. Which choice is more productive? Which punishes the chooser and which punishes the circumstance? Remember, circumstances do not change as a result of how angry you get at them. Because circumstances are not people.

Stop wasting your time (or breath) getting angry at things that are utterly indifferent to your feelings. Stop thinking that emoting at inanimate objects or situations or entities is going to change anything. It’s like that saying about taking poison and expecting the other person to die.

You’re not helping anything. In fact, anger only make things worse.

Every situation is made better by a cool head. Even powerful people who know that anger is a powerful and effective tool will tell you that there is a big difference between deliberately expressing your frustrations (to make a point, to motivate someone, to defend yourself) and flying off the handle. Without the ability to recognize and direct your emotions, you become a slave to them.

The Power
· Anger only cuts off our options and the powerful cannot thrive without options. 
· Once you train yourself not to take matters personally, and to control your emotional responses, you will have placed yourself in a position of tremendous power: 
· Now you can play with the emotional responses of other people. 
· Stir the insecure into action by impugning their manhood, and by dangling the prospect of an easy victory before their faces.

When playing with people’s emotions you have to be careful. Study the enemy beforehand: Some fish are best left at the bottom of the pond.